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The Story of Roman Zolanski

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O.U.A.T., there was a young lady named Martha Zolanski. Martha was a classy British woman, who could also go mad in a blink of an eye. She and her boyfriend had been going steady for, um... maybe 3, 5... months, weeks? Anyway, Martha's boyfriend finally told her that he wanted her badly. She told him, "If you want it, come get it!" And they made love that day, or so it seemed.

Martha soon found out she was pregnant, due to a precautionary failure. As soon as her lover found out, he fled as fast as he could, leaving Martha and her unborn baby in the dust. 9 months later, she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. When asked what his name was, she replied, "Roman," and thus, Roman Zolanski had come into the world.

Martha loved Roman, and swore that as long as she lives, she would never abandon him, like his father did. As Roman grew up, Martha began to notice that Roman had been developing a rather nasty attitude. She saw him smack down a girl to the point of near unconciousness, and then, stood over her and said, "Now what, bitch?" Then Roman spat on her and kicked her into a mud puddle. Martha had never seen this side of Roman. Where on earth did he learn such violent behaviour?

One day, while coming home from school, Roman told his mother, "I like boys, Mother." She would've fainted, but she just smiled and said, "Lovely, darling."

Roman Zolanski had become even more violent than before, this time slamming men and women into the dust. Martha had wondered if today was the right day to bring her goddaughter, Nicki, to see Roman today. She feared that Roman might kill Nicki, and be put into prison. This was one of her worst fears: her only son, locked away in an old, rusty jail cell. But she knew that Nicki was a very strong girl, and that Nicki could handle Roman's behaviour.

Later that afternoon, Martha called Roman downstairs to meet Nicki. Roman came rushing down the stairs, and then he stopped instantly. Nicki was a beauty to behold, with her long, full eyelashes fluttering everytime she blinked, a body that only the greatest of men could handle, and not to mention a voluptuous gluteus maximus. But Roman just glared at her, and told her that her Barbie doll was lame. Nicki replied, "Shut up! My Barbie is the best, the greatest, and the sweetest Barbie in the world!" Roman had never heard a girl stand up to him before. He soon became intersted in this Barbie-loving, eyelash-batting, colorful-haired girl.

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