| Nicki Minaj|
|Sucka Free track listing|
|"Autobiography" is track number 21.|
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"Who's Ya Best MC?"
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"President Carter Signs Off"
"Autobiography" is the twenty first track on Nicki Minaj's mixtape Sucka Free. In the song Nicki is singing about her life, having an abortion, her father burning their house and trying to kill her mother. The recording is an original rap over the beat of "Feel It in the Air" by Beanie Sigel and Melissa.
Minaj revealed on Twitter that she cried while writing the song.
This is the autobiography of Nicki Maraj
May the lord protect me as the world gets hectic
My voice projected, my life reflected
Daddy was a crack fiend, two in the morning
Had us running down the block like a track team
When you burnt the house down and my mother was in it
How could I forget it? The pain is infinite.
She's my queen and I ain't even British
She's the only reason that I went to school and I finished
She told me I had talent, got on her knees and prayed for me
When I started being violent; she saw something in me that
'Til this day I don't know if I could be that
But Imma die tryin', and when I'm done cryin'
Grab the iron and black out like I'm retirin'
Nightmares of you killing my mother
The reason that I sleep with my head under the covers
And they shoulda thrown the book at you
'Cause I hate you so much that it burn when I look at you
Damn, I want to run to you
Hold you and kiss you and tell you how I miss you
Thought I would have a son for you
But now it's official, it's over, and I can't let you go
But I gotta let you know
All the shit I did make me feel like I'm dyin' real slow
'Cause no one understands me
They don't know what to do when I'm hurt and when I'm angry
You was my friend, and my man, and my daddy
You was there when that bitch tried to stab me
Anything I ever needed, knew you had me
'Cause of you, all them chicks couldn't stand me
So why I hurt you? That's the question
It took this long for me to learn my lesson
'Cause now all I want is peace and get drama
I finally understand the true meaning of karma
Please, baby, forgive me
Mommy was young, mommy was too busy tryna have fun
But I don't pat myself on the back for sending you back
'Cause God knows I was better than that
To conceive you then leave you, the concept alone seems evil
I'm trapped in my conscience, I adhered to the nonsense
Listened to people who told me I wasn't ready for you
But how the f— would they know what I was ready to do?
And of course, it wasn't your fault
It's like I feel you in the air, I hear you saying
"Mommy don't cry, can't you see I'm right here?"
I gotta let you know what you mean to me
When I'm sleeping, I see you in my dreams with me
Wish I could touch your little face or just hold your little hand
If it's part of God's plan, maybe we can meet again